Never Say Never
Like most expecting parents, Derek and I had a lot of ideas about how we were going to raise our kid. We took the baby care classes and I obsessively read about the “best ways” to do everything. We had a plan as meticulously thought out as our maternity photos. 
And, like all the best laid plans, they have been totally derailed by a wildly irrational, incredibly needy, tiny human. I give full credit to the many people in our life who smiled politely throughout my pregnancy without rolling their eyes when I enthusiastically shared how we would be doing things.
Here is my greatest advice for first-time soon-to-be parents, never say never. Sleep deprivation and desperation will cause you to break any parenting covenant you have set for yourself.
It took 72 hours for us to give her a pacifier after swearing she wasn’t going to have one for at least six weeks. I had her co-sleeping in bed with me within the first week. No screen time until the age of two was derailed by the time she was two months old when I excitedly discovered she would sit quietly and watch youtube videos on my phone. Before we had kids, Derek and I secretly questioned our friends who had kids when they wouldn’t go to dinner or do anything past 7:00 because it messed up their kids routine. “They don’t have to dictate your life!”
This is my foot-in-mouth moment. We were wrong. So very, very wrong.
Turns out, babies do dictate your life. Because routine is everything. Routine is a gift from God, a way to make babies more manageable, and you do not break it for anything or anyone. The only thing that makes a routine better is a pacifier. Pacifiers are now coveted in our house. If there is a fire and I can grab only a few things, a pacifier is high on the list. Because we might not have a house anymore but at least the baby won’t be crying! It turns out that napping in bed with my baby girl cuddled up with me is one of the most beautiful things in my life, so I’m not sure why I was against co-sleeping to begin with. I’m still not convinced the youtube videos aren’t rotting Ellie Jo’s developing baby brain so I try to balance them out by reading her T.S. Elliot and Forbes Magazine. But, when I’m too tired to read or she’s just a little fussy, she will stare at the colors flashing on the screen and listen to the music (it’s classical, that’s good for them right?) and it is sweet, sweet, peace. Sweet enough I’ll take my chances at ruining her shot of ever getting into an Ivy League college because I let her watch videos on my phone when she was a baby.
So, to the people in our life who had kids before us, thank you for letting us go through pregnancy blissfully unaware of how dumb we were. I hope you’re enjoying your well deserved, “I told you so” moments. To the people who are soon to be parents themselves, make a plan, and then never say never.
Do it all with love.
Kristy
May 13, 2016You literally take the words out of my mouth! I have a baby girl too, born February 3rd. She has most of the same issues that yours has. Your honesty and relatable experiences make me feel so much better about the daily struggles we go through! So happy you’re blogging!
spilledmilklove@gmail.com
May 13, 2016Thank you, I’m glad you’re enjoying it! I am so sorry to hear your baby girl has had some of the same issues, I hope you’re finding solutions. It can be so tough when you don’t know how to fix it! Is there anything you’ve experienced as a new mom that you think would be worth talking about in a blog post?
Kristy
May 13, 2016Gosh! I appreciate your wittiness and the humor in your posts (both on Facebook and your blog) and when I think of all of the humor in the things no one ever told you about babies or being a new mom, that could be fun to write about. Or all of the recommendations we keep in our minds that we read or were told before babies, no pacifiers until breastfeeding is well established, nipple confusion (mine won’t take a bottle now!), don’t co-sleep, don’t hold your baby too long or you won’t be able to put them down, etc. are all topics that mom’s of high maintenance babies (what I refer to mine as) have no idea that those things are the only things that sometimes bring us sanity. I’m sure you get the drift. I thought of making a list of these things in which you should do the exact opposite of! Another thing, maybe, is keeping your sanity while you entertain these little ones between tummy time, reading books, classical Infant YouTube (mine watches it too on occasion), singing songs (a lot of which are made up because I don’t remember all the words), long story short, a day in the life of an infant. Anyway, I’ll comment on your blog post on your Facebook so you know who I am! Hope you guys are having a good day! I’m still on the breastfeeding journey and dairy free, soy free, gluten free and egg free and trying to figure out what I could have ate to make this girl be farting next to me! The joy! If she would take a bottle I may have switched to formula by now! I have a case of alimentum waiting!
Saundra Rohn
May 13, 2016I love reading your heart on paper.❤️
Christina
May 13, 2016Love it! It’s absolutely true. You can have the best laid plans and it all goes out the window once that baby arrives! Although sometimes it doesn’t. It’s good to have an idea but not to stick to it rigidly. And if there is anything I have learned as a mom of 3 it’s that every single baby is different. Don’t think just because you’ve had one that your second will be exactly the same! That was my mistake!
Cindy
May 13, 2016Lol! You’re welcome my dear! You can imagine my thoughts when you said, “I have 3 months off when the baby is born, can I come on the boat with you?” I’m sorry your challenges have been more intense than “normal,” But you and Derek are doing a fantastic job dealing with them. There will be many more times relatives and wise friends will nod politely, and not say anything. You too will share that wisdom someday. Hugs
Wendy
May 13, 2016You already are and will continue to be great parents! Trust your gut, the”whisper” you feel deep down and just follow it. Forget what “they say” cause each child is an individual in their own right, there is no “standard recipe”. You have to make it up according to Ellie Jo. Go Annie and Derek!!!!