If You Buy A Kid A Pony

• May 28, 2016
• Parenthood

Are you familiar with the charming children’s book, “If You Give A Mouse A Cookie?” When I was 10 years old, after two years of riding lessons and pony camp in the summer, my parents lives became an absurd equine themed version of this story. My parents were dog people, not horse people. We lived in town on a cul-de-sac with a swimming pool and a swing set in the backyard, not on a farm.

But, they were supportive parents so they bought my brother and I each a horse. (Technically, my horse was a pony and his was a miniature mule but that is a story for another time.) Of course there is a pile of equipment that must be accumulated when you venture into horse ownership. Feed buckets, water troughs, saddles, blankets, grooming equipment, hay nets…the list is as extensive as it is expensive. But, you also need a horse trailer. And then you need land to put the horses on, because they can’t camp out in your suburban back yard forever. (In our case this was ten acres of pasture west of town.) Land does you no good unless it’s fenced so my dad became an expert fence builder. You can only haul water out to the land every day for so long before it makes more sense to just put in a well. By now both kids have outgrown their mounts and are onto second horses and your eldest daughter (yours truly) has rescued a pony- so as long as you are having to drive out to feed five horses every day, you might as well build a house. And then the truck needs to be replaced and the horse trailer needs to be replaced and more fences need to be built and suddenly you are not only a horse owner, you are a horse farm owner.

*(Flash forward 16 years and both of us kids are out of the house but my parents- because my mother refuses to sell a horse once it joins our family- are basically running a retirement home for horses and provide daily care to a small herd of aging equines on their farm. It’s entirely possible their warning to parents with horse crazy kids would be: DON’T BUY THAT FIRST HORSE.)*

Here is what has taken me this long to really realize: the greatest gift my parents gave me wasn’t the horses or everything that came with them- it was never treating my love of horses like a phase. I am one of those incredibly lucky individuals who found my passion when I was very young, but they had no way of knowing that. A lot of eight year old little girls are horse crazy but then they grow into other hobbies or interests. My parents made a huge commitment without having any sort of guarantee I wouldn’t decide a few years later that I didn’t really care about horses. They did it because right in that moment I loved them more than anything else in the world. I was all in, so they were too. That isn’t too say I didn’t have to work for it, but they gave me that opportunity because if it was important to me it was important to them.

Now I wake up every morning on my own beautiful little horse farm and thank God I was born to parents who believed me when I swore up and down horses weren’t just a phase. One of my greatest wishes for Ellie Jo is that she finds something she loves as much as I love horses. Admittedly, I hope it is horses (I already bought her a pony) but I’m trying to prepare myself for her instead finding heart fulfilling joy in dance or art or soccer or playing the tuba. Whatever it is, I hope she lets it consume her and take hold of her soul. And, I hope Derek and I remember to support her in it. To always respect her passion and never assume it’s a phase. Because I’m not sure what comes after you buy your kid a tuba, but if that is what she is in love with, I look forward to finding out.

Do it all with love.