2017: The Year Of Attainable Goal Setting
Happy New Year, friends!
In the spirit of resolutions, let’s talk about expectations and goal setting. One of my favorite things that I get to do professionally is facilitate groups as they set goals for the future. (The groups I’m working with are usually academic programs involved in public outreach.) We start by reviewing the program’s mission and vision, so we all remember what we are working for and why it matters. A clear purpose is critical to success.
Next, I ask everyone what their dream program would look like in ten years. Nothing is off limits and I encourage participants to think outside the box. This is the really fun part. We don’t talk about why big ideas won’t work, or what we have to do to reach the goals- not yet- we just brainstorm. Ideally everyone agrees on a handful of big ideas and feels optimistic and enthusiastic about the future.
Once we have a vision for the future, a pie in the sky dream for the program, we talk about what components of it really serve the mission and vision and how. This helps us begin the process of working backwards to create 5, 3, and 1 year goals. The mood shifts at this point in the session. There will inevitably be a few annoyingly optimistic people who think we can absolutely achieve every single goal without a problem even if nothing in the program’s history indicates that it is even remotely possible. (The “La La Land” participants) There will also be a few people who are irritated to even be a part of this exercise because they think it is a ridiculous pipedream and doomed to fail. (The “Dream Killer” participants) Everyone else falls somewhere in the middle.
As we begin molding the 1, 3, and 5 year goals what is realistic and what isn’t becomes clear. The La La Landers rein in their enthusiasm and the Dream Killers begin to embrace the potential and everyone gets on the same page. Once all the goals are hammered out everyone is feeling accomplished and ready to go but goals on their own are not enough.
The problem with goal setting, both short term (goals for the new year) and long term (goals for ten years from now) is that without identifying what action steps you need to take, chances are that eventually you will fail. But the tricky thing about action items is that they have to be realistic. Expectations must be managed and change has to be subtle to be lasting.
Full disclosure: I am the enthusiastic leader of the La La Landers. I love big ideas. I love big dramatic change. It excites and energizes me so I am a complete sucker for New Years Resolutions. What I have learned, after years of half-accomplished resolutions, is that I have to resist the urge to make goals for myself that I will inevitably fail.
An example of unrealistic goal setting: In college when I was working 40 hours a week, taking 18 credits of upper division classes, and running a small horse boarding operation I decided one New Years that my goal for the year would be to RUN A MARATHON even though I could barely find time to go jogging with the dog for half an hour three days a week. What happened? I ran a couple 5ks. I did not run a marathon.
With this in mind, on New Years Eve this year Derek and I curled up on the couch together with a pad of paper and came up with a list of goals for the year- and action items to achieve those goals. I did my best to rein in my eternal optimism and set realistic expectations. Our goals will still take conscious effort and hard work but they won’t require such life altering changes that we doom ourselves to fail.
We set big picture goals for ten years from now (have this house paid off so we can build one), for five years from now (have all student loan debt paid off), and goals for this year as a family that will ultimately help us get there.
For example, one of our 2017 goals is to pay off credit card debt. Our action items include: Use an envelope system for cash expenses, only eat lunch out once per week, meal plan, cloth diaper half the time (blog post coming this week on cloth diapering!), and Derek is the only one who can shop at Target. (No joke, I can’t get in and out of that place without $200 in impulse purchases. I don’t even know how it happens, but I can’t be trusted.)
Paying off credit card debt is the closest thing we set to a stretch goal but if we follow our action items it is still attainable. The rest are simple but valuable. Go for a family walk- even just around the farm- at least five days a week. Plant a spring garden. When I feel myself getting antsy for the type of big idea that makes my La La Land spirit happy- and the urge to eat out- I look at pretty country houses on pinterest and think about the house we will build in ten years. The first step to a wrap-around porch is bringing my lunch to work.
Recall that I said the first thing I do when I go through this exercise with a group is review the group’s vision and mission. Derek and I did a variation of this as a family. We talked about how we want to go out into the world as individuals and how we want to interact with each other here at home. (By we, I mean I came up with things and Derek was a good sport and went along with my moment of warm and fuzzy hippy-ness.)
So, I leave you with this. How we will be the best we can be. Our clear purpose.
The Muscato Family Mission for 2017:
We will:
Take more time to sit in princess castles
Have more patience
Love harder
Read more books
Laugh more
Rush less
Listen more
Talk less
Take more walks
Cherish each other
Always have hope for the future
(Oh, and sleep more…)
We invite you to join us and create your own mission for yourself and your family in the coming year. Dream big and set big goals and then be kind to yourself and set realistic expectations for how you will reach them.
This is going to be a good year, ya’ll. I can feel it.
Do it all with love.
